Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Back on the Scene for Now

Live from the parking lot of JA’s bar. Reporting in Melissa Rivers style but red carpet nowhere in sight at this joint.

“A stream of swillers all waving their SASE’s for admittance has converged tonight here at JA’s. Personally, I’m not setting foot inside until MG lets me know if they serve a mean margarita and allow Ferragamos on the sawdust.

“Dana! Over here. What’s the buzz? Something big going on in there tonight?”

“Word is Lisa and MG are giving a live musical performance.”

“So they’re branching into the music business?”

“Gotta go. There’s a Chinese Champion waiting on the bar with my name on it.” Dana swaggers away. Hey where did she learn to swagger with panache? The last time I saw here was after a Rogue Reading when we staggered to the elevator.

“M.G.! Lisa! Over here by the mike. Free press girls! Word is you’re on-stage tonight.”

M.G., hands on hips and computer bag hanging from shoulder (may be a permanent appendage). “I’ve told you more than once to return to Blogland and get with it. I got songs to sing. Outta here.” She tosses dark hair and walks off SASE sticking out of her back pocket.

“Lisa….wait. You got anything to say before you take the stage?”

Lisa sniffs. “I smell an inaccurately used word somewhere.” Looks around, narrows eyes. “I’ve got to get in there and down a Purple Destiny before the show starts.”

“Order me a margarita, frozen, with salt, Lisa.” Car zooms into parking lot and blocks entrance to bar. “That’s it folks. Reporting live from JA’s on Live Performance Night…….wait. is that E.A.?”

“I need a Pap Smear double on the rocks.” E.A. eyes still glazed from Tax Tensions. Waving her tax forms. “What does a girl need to get in here?”

“Here I have some extra SASE’s.” Sharon pulls one from the endless supply in her knockoff leather purse (never take the real thing to a bar).

“SASE’s. Ha! I’ll just knock the bouncer out with my 25 lbs. of screen play and we’ll walk in free.”

Music starts. Stamping heard in inside. Or is it a stampede?

21 Comments:

Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

Sharon's inner Bunion FINALLY emerges.

The invoice for my keyboard will be in tomorrow's mail.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Dana Y. T. Lin said...

*screams*

The 5th Bunion has officially joined in the fun!

Whoo-hoo!

*jumps on top of gurney and starts dancing to the tune from "Snarkside Story" - "When you're a Snark, you're a Snark all the way"....

3:58 PM  
Blogger Lisa S. said...

Oh Lordy! There goes my Purple Destiny! Too freakin funny...

*picks self up off floor*

4:18 PM  
Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

When you're a Snark, you're a snark all the way
From your first pail of gin, to your last Tanqueray!

No. nono. I'm not writing it. I have WORK to do.

Dammit.

Maybe tomorrow. Or over the weekend.

Or something.

4:27 PM  
Blogger S. R. Hatcher said...

Lisa I do hope you understand where Purple Destiny comes from? It's a ..... concoction you first gave voice to.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Lisa S. said...

yes ma'am I certainly do. I could use one right about now.

5:34 PM  
Blogger S. R. Hatcher said...

Me too.......and I loved that...umm..name.
So descriptive.

Bartender! Purple Passion on the rocks for these two ladies.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Miss Snark said...

LLAD...she was such a nice quiet one; look at her now.


Bunions: "the new soul"

7:03 PM  
Blogger Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Ew. On the rocks? Nonono. I want my Purple Destiny slightly stirred, not shaken, and DEFINITELY no ice. Maybe a touch of cane sugar on the tip, but no, no ice.

Miss Snark - don't matter what your upbringing, when you're among Bunions, you anti-up and grab a seat.

8:06 PM  
Blogger S. R. Hatcher said...

OMG....Miss Snark visited Bunionessa's incredibly sporadic and random blog. I am honored to see a comment from the Queen of the Bottom Line. Honored. Purple Destinies for everyone.

Dana - never had a P.D. quite this way. Usually have mine straight, but never hurts to experiment. Okay, the Purple Destiny going in current WIP.

8:16 PM  
Blogger James Goodman said...

That was great and you got a visit from her Snarkiness herself. How cool is that?

8:45 PM  
Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

Problem is, James...what do we do for an encore?

11:20 PM  
Blogger James Goodman said...

Arrange to have George Clooney show up at her doorstep?

6:24 AM  
Blogger Adam Hurtubise said...

Umm... the entertainment at these bars is fabulous, and the frilly drinks look nice, but can I get a bourbon anywhere?

Better yet, can I get a double?

Adam

12:59 PM  
Blogger Erik Ivan James said...

Did the four corrupt the fifth, or did the fifth corrupt the four?

1:35 PM  
Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

Fifth Bunion only LOOKS like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Get in her face, she'll wipe up the floor with you, but she'll do it ever so politely.

2:16 PM  
Blogger S. R. Hatcher said...

Now, now Mindy.......

Adam - Bourbon. Of course, it's a staple.

Erik - Of course the four corrup.....better not finish this sentence. There could be verbal retribution from the other Bar Chicks.

Yes, James, I thought it was cool too.

2:22 PM  
Blogger E. Ann Bardawill said...

Oh dear...

Never never never have a Purple Destiny with a double Pap Smear.

Unless you warm it up first and put in fresh batteries.

;-)

6:04 PM  
Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

Personally, E. Ann, I find Purple Destinies hard to swallow...

*yuck, yuck*

8:48 PM  
Blogger Bonnie Calhoun said...

Hell...forget sending Clooney over there...get him to come over here....he's blogging now. Arianna Huffington put him in a real snit, over something she attributed to him, on her blog!

10:36 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I'm trying desperately to think of something funny to contribute - but I'm laughing too hard and can't see through my tears! You ladies are a scream!

(sounds of squealing laughter in background!)

11:40 PM  

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